- Teach Me Your Ways -

As you may have noticed, the title of my page starts with "Teach me YOUR ways". This has been a central theme of my faith and my life once I got saved. I eluded to a little bit of my history before...about being a practicing Buddhist of many many years (I practiced a meditation method and my mother showed me the basic teachings of Buddha alongside of that, I won't go into detail of this here...however if you're interested check out Vo Vi Meditation). But here's a little more of that testimate and the meaning behind why I am so drawn to the words 'teach me your ways':

It wasn't until Freshman year I dwelled on what my faith was, how boring it felt and unfulfilling it was. My faith, as a Buddhist, was dry, numbing, and had no life. I was questioning where I wanted to go, what I wanted to be...like many freshman in their first year at a university or college. My heart began to stir even more after a couple friends from the Mathes dormitory asked me to come to a weekly Friday night fellowship through CCF (Campus Christian Fellowship).

Over the course of 3 weeks, I had friends come up to me saying how excited they were with what I was doing and where I was going. I didn't really understand it at first but it was good to be among them and excited for the next CCF night even though I didn't know any of the songs, what anything meant, how to sing, anything. Somehow I decided that going to CCF during Friday night was a priority for me...what else would I be doing on a Friday night? It was then one of my great friends from high school asked me a very pivotal question...

"Hey I heard that you've been going to CCF a lot lately! What is it that keeps you coming back?"

I said, "You know, I dunno the answer to that question, but all I can say is that I'm still seeking the answer to why I keep coming."

Friday night, May 13th 2005, I got saved after hearing a sermon about Feeling the presence/Spirit of God. We had Dr. Peter as a guest Pastor speak who was from a university in Amsterdam. That night answered the question my old friend asked me and changed my heart forever. I realized what I was missing from my heart, that was Jesus. It made me unable to raise my hand when Dr. Peter asked 'how many of you feel the presence of God occasionally or how about daily?' But it made me desire that. There was a cry in my heart and I didn't know how to fill that void. It made complete sense to me after Dr. Peter talked about what he had gone through to find God and a Christian faith after testing, studying, practing many religions.

Since then, my heart softened and everyday I feel free through the Lord's grace. Its just been an awesome learning experience for me. God has been teaching me all sorts of lessons, fixing me, changing me from the inside out, etc. I kept being eager in learning of God, His ways & Jesus' teachings as a late bloomer (hey better late than never!). Even to this day I'm still learning, there is no way that I could comprehend all of God's ways, not even a fraction. Perhaps when I die I may learn more, but that is for later. =)

This is why the words "teach me your ways" as David sung in the book of Psalms is so relevant and so central to my faith. It was even the verses I read aloud at my baptism 6 months later. I can also say that these verses are most definitely my favorite. Psalms 86:11-12 states "Teach me Your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever."

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A song by Mike Theriault who was my home church's former worship pastor, has Psalm 86 as its central theme. It perfectly illustrates what my heart feels, or if you will, what my heart sings.

...I'm a servant of Yours m'Lord. I'm weak and poor, but with your guidance You, Father, touch my eyes so that I may see....



I would also like to thank my friend Lisa who played piano with me on this song, it was quite wonderful. =Þ