Simple words really...to be 'still'. It is always a struggle in our busy lives where we go through the hustle and bustle of work, plan for events, go to school and manage our time overall. For me lately, it speaks to me through my ailment. I know as of late I've been sick with a sinus infection which has caused me to feel exhausted and limited my abilities to function normally. And to top it all off it really upsetted me. I was pondering if I had mono, which thankfully I don't. I've also been a little cranky. But as I sat there letting my sickness and agitations simmer, I realized I forgot to focus on God.
A sister of mine likes to refer to "let us be still and know that You are God" (from Psalm 46:10a) often in her prayers. Like I've mentioned it is so simple, so true and really how often do we forget this and focus in on ourselves? Honestly, I have no idea what God wants to teach me in this time of sickness but I look forward to calming myself, letting go of my surroundings, my health, all of it so that I can listen to Him and learn...rather than trying to rationally figure out why I got sick or be so pessimistic about it.
There's a couple songs that I think of whenever I read Psalm 46:10. The first is a song you may know, especially if you've listened to Steven Curtis Chapman before. Its called God Is God, I highly recommend checking it out. But also the song that I identify with even more is Still by Hillsong. This song was written by Reuben Morgan and it sounds amazing on piano. =Þ
Let us be still and soar above the storm with You Father...
Special thanks goes to Megan for singing this song =Þ
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
- Teach Me Your Ways -
As you may have noticed, the title of my page starts with "Teach me YOUR ways". This has been a central theme of my faith and my life once I got saved. I eluded to a little bit of my history before...about being a practicing Buddhist of many many years (I practiced a meditation method and my mother showed me the basic teachings of Buddha alongside of that, I won't go into detail of this here...however if you're interested check out Vo Vi Meditation). But here's a little more of that testimate and the meaning behind why I am so drawn to the words 'teach me your ways':
It wasn't until Freshman year I dwelled on what my faith was, how boring it felt and unfulfilling it was. My faith, as a Buddhist, was dry, numbing, and had no life. I was questioning where I wanted to go, what I wanted to be...like many freshman in their first year at a university or college. My heart began to stir even more after a couple friends from the Mathes dormitory asked me to come to a weekly Friday night fellowship through CCF (Campus Christian Fellowship).
Over the course of 3 weeks, I had friends come up to me saying how excited they were with what I was doing and where I was going. I didn't really understand it at first but it was good to be among them and excited for the next CCF night even though I didn't know any of the songs, what anything meant, how to sing, anything. Somehow I decided that going to CCF during Friday night was a priority for me...what else would I be doing on a Friday night? It was then one of my great friends from high school asked me a very pivotal question...
"Hey I heard that you've been going to CCF a lot lately! What is it that keeps you coming back?"
I said, "You know, I dunno the answer to that question, but all I can say is that I'm still seeking the answer to why I keep coming."
Friday night, May 13th 2005, I got saved after hearing a sermon about Feeling the presence/Spirit of God. We had Dr. Peter as a guest Pastor speak who was from a university in Amsterdam. That night answered the question my old friend asked me and changed my heart forever. I realized what I was missing from my heart, that was Jesus. It made me unable to raise my hand when Dr. Peter asked 'how many of you feel the presence of God occasionally or how about daily?' But it made me desire that. There was a cry in my heart and I didn't know how to fill that void. It made complete sense to me after Dr. Peter talked about what he had gone through to find God and a Christian faith after testing, studying, practing many religions.
Since then, my heart softened and everyday I feel free through the Lord's grace. Its just been an awesome learning experience for me. God has been teaching me all sorts of lessons, fixing me, changing me from the inside out, etc. I kept being eager in learning of God, His ways & Jesus' teachings as a late bloomer (hey better late than never!). Even to this day I'm still learning, there is no way that I could comprehend all of God's ways, not even a fraction. Perhaps when I die I may learn more, but that is for later. =)
This is why the words "teach me your ways" as David sung in the book of Psalms is so relevant and so central to my faith. It was even the verses I read aloud at my baptism 6 months later. I can also say that these verses are most definitely my favorite. Psalms 86:11-12 states "Teach me Your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever."
---
A song by Mike Theriault who was my home church's former worship pastor, has Psalm 86 as its central theme. It perfectly illustrates what my heart feels, or if you will, what my heart sings.
...I'm a servant of Yours m'Lord. I'm weak and poor, but with your guidance You, Father, touch my eyes so that I may see....
I would also like to thank my friend Lisa who played piano with me on this song, it was quite wonderful. =Þ
It wasn't until Freshman year I dwelled on what my faith was, how boring it felt and unfulfilling it was. My faith, as a Buddhist, was dry, numbing, and had no life. I was questioning where I wanted to go, what I wanted to be...like many freshman in their first year at a university or college. My heart began to stir even more after a couple friends from the Mathes dormitory asked me to come to a weekly Friday night fellowship through CCF (Campus Christian Fellowship).
Over the course of 3 weeks, I had friends come up to me saying how excited they were with what I was doing and where I was going. I didn't really understand it at first but it was good to be among them and excited for the next CCF night even though I didn't know any of the songs, what anything meant, how to sing, anything. Somehow I decided that going to CCF during Friday night was a priority for me...what else would I be doing on a Friday night? It was then one of my great friends from high school asked me a very pivotal question...
"Hey I heard that you've been going to CCF a lot lately! What is it that keeps you coming back?"
I said, "You know, I dunno the answer to that question, but all I can say is that I'm still seeking the answer to why I keep coming."
Friday night, May 13th 2005, I got saved after hearing a sermon about Feeling the presence/Spirit of God. We had Dr. Peter as a guest Pastor speak who was from a university in Amsterdam. That night answered the question my old friend asked me and changed my heart forever. I realized what I was missing from my heart, that was Jesus. It made me unable to raise my hand when Dr. Peter asked 'how many of you feel the presence of God occasionally or how about daily?' But it made me desire that. There was a cry in my heart and I didn't know how to fill that void. It made complete sense to me after Dr. Peter talked about what he had gone through to find God and a Christian faith after testing, studying, practing many religions.
Since then, my heart softened and everyday I feel free through the Lord's grace. Its just been an awesome learning experience for me. God has been teaching me all sorts of lessons, fixing me, changing me from the inside out, etc. I kept being eager in learning of God, His ways & Jesus' teachings as a late bloomer (hey better late than never!). Even to this day I'm still learning, there is no way that I could comprehend all of God's ways, not even a fraction. Perhaps when I die I may learn more, but that is for later. =)
This is why the words "teach me your ways" as David sung in the book of Psalms is so relevant and so central to my faith. It was even the verses I read aloud at my baptism 6 months later. I can also say that these verses are most definitely my favorite. Psalms 86:11-12 states "Teach me Your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever."
---
A song by Mike Theriault who was my home church's former worship pastor, has Psalm 86 as its central theme. It perfectly illustrates what my heart feels, or if you will, what my heart sings.
...I'm a servant of Yours m'Lord. I'm weak and poor, but with your guidance You, Father, touch my eyes so that I may see....
I would also like to thank my friend Lisa who played piano with me on this song, it was quite wonderful. =Þ
Sunday, October 12, 2008
- Thank You Lord -
This song "Thank You Lord" is by Don Moen & Paul Baloche. It is quite a simple song (not too complex) and very beautiful. Personally, it applies to my ongoing response to God with the blessing of vitality He has given me recently (see my last post). And I am very thankful to experience this in a more tangible manner. But with my whole heart, or searching for the deeper meaning, this song and what it says applies to my whole life.
The breath that I breathe, it is You Lord who grants me that and sustains my life here on this earth. Thank You.
My blind eyes as a practicing Buddhist, I numbed myself from the world and it's sorrows, I isolated myself and worshipped a different god. In the end, You stirred my heart and revealed the void inside of it. This purpose lead to the sight of Your light Jesus through my own eyes and heart (John 9). Thank You.
For all the times I've ran scared from my mission. Jesus you tell me I can move the mountains for the Holy Spirit resides inside of me, yet, I doubt. Jesus you call me to come, and just like Peter a wind sweeps by and I cry for help (Matthew 14:25-31). And even like Jonah I harden my heart, get stubborn and avoid You Father. Even after all that God You still pursue me, I plan my steps, but ultimately You determine them (Proverbs 16:9). Thank You.
The list could go on endlessly. But ultimately God is involved in all of it... Miracles, the development of a child, sun that shines and gives Vitamin D to our bodies, intelligence, joy in friendships, technology through the creation of brilliant minds who seek the benefit of humanity and lifestyle...you name it. We have much to be thankful for because its all a blessing from our Father in Heaven. And even through hardships (suffering, death, sadness) the Lord states to "...rejoice in our suffereings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Romans 5:3-4). We may never understand the reasons why we go through difficulties and we very well may never know until our passing. May we not forget God's words of how He has a future in store for us, a prosperous future in fact. Which also means that our God isn't speaking about life here on this planet only. His eternal being and love goes beyond that and He will let us know what is in store for us (up above) when we depart from this earth.
For all You've done in my life, thank You Lord!
*I would also like to give special thanks to my roommate Eric for harmonizing with me in the song. =Þ
The breath that I breathe, it is You Lord who grants me that and sustains my life here on this earth. Thank You.
My blind eyes as a practicing Buddhist, I numbed myself from the world and it's sorrows, I isolated myself and worshipped a different god. In the end, You stirred my heart and revealed the void inside of it. This purpose lead to the sight of Your light Jesus through my own eyes and heart (John 9). Thank You.
For all the times I've ran scared from my mission. Jesus you tell me I can move the mountains for the Holy Spirit resides inside of me, yet, I doubt. Jesus you call me to come, and just like Peter a wind sweeps by and I cry for help (Matthew 14:25-31). And even like Jonah I harden my heart, get stubborn and avoid You Father. Even after all that God You still pursue me, I plan my steps, but ultimately You determine them (Proverbs 16:9). Thank You.
The list could go on endlessly. But ultimately God is involved in all of it... Miracles, the development of a child, sun that shines and gives Vitamin D to our bodies, intelligence, joy in friendships, technology through the creation of brilliant minds who seek the benefit of humanity and lifestyle...you name it. We have much to be thankful for because its all a blessing from our Father in Heaven. And even through hardships (suffering, death, sadness) the Lord states to "...rejoice in our suffereings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Romans 5:3-4). We may never understand the reasons why we go through difficulties and we very well may never know until our passing. May we not forget God's words of how He has a future in store for us, a prosperous future in fact. Which also means that our God isn't speaking about life here on this planet only. His eternal being and love goes beyond that and He will let us know what is in store for us (up above) when we depart from this earth.
For all You've done in my life, thank You Lord!
*I would also like to give special thanks to my roommate Eric for harmonizing with me in the song. =Þ
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
- Revitalized -
I wanted to look deeper behind the meaning of this word, revitalized, starting with the rootword ‘vital’.
The etymology of this word from the Online Etymology Dictionary states: “c.1386, ‘of or manifesting life,’ from L. vitalis "of or belonging to life” (vital, n.d.).
Moving along to the word ‘vitality’, the American Heritage Stedman's Medical Dictionary (n.d.) explains:
vitality vi·tal·i·ty (vī-tāl'ĭ-tē)n.
1. The capacity to live, grow, or develop.
2. Physical or intellectual vigor; energy.
Now, when I think of vitality I look at it at different ways in addition to the above reasoning. One way was through any role-playing video game, vitality is one of many attributes for the key character. As I would progress through a game the character gained vitality and while gaining vitality my character would also gain health allowing them to stay alive longer.
Going along that thought of staying alive longer, I’ve always thought of the word vitality just simply meaning energy or something sustaining a being and whatever it does…like a human being which requires ATP in order to function and sustain any metabolic processes (ie walking, running, etc). How about sugar? The human body commonly absorbs sugar in the form of glucose. The brain requires glucose to maintain the function of the body’s senses via action potentials that are sent throughout the body. Not to mention glucose is required for the brain and ultimately for the process of any thoughts and critical thinking.
This then brings me to the word with both prefix and suffix: revitalized.
Amazingly, recently through God’s grace and power my faith has been revitalized. I’ve come from a difficult summer as I entered my fifth year at Western. I was going through feeling antisocial with anyone and everyone that I met (including old friends). It was rather strange considering I’ve lived in this dorm region, Birnam Wood, already a couple years ago. So change of environment should not have been that big of an issue. The summer that I left was one of stagnation in many forms. In the end, a heavy spirit of isolation was created which burdened my heart. There were times when I didn’t know if I could go through with classes and times of anxiety. My roommate and I both agreed we had a mission for our region we were living in and I felt incapable. I knew I was being attacked spiritually.
Little by little, I prayed, asked for prayer, and continued to communicate with God. Through church, the Lord spurred me on to be the light for others to see and for them to know that He loves them and longs to be in relationship with them. Slowly I felt the fire lighting in my heart and began to communicate with friends and new people who I wanted to meet and befriend.
This kept growing further; there were times of worship, a new bible study with fellow brothers, meaningful conversations. It wasn’t until yesterday that I felt completely revitalized. I was very blessed to attend the Passion World Tour Conference with Chris Tomlin and David Crowder Band in Vancouver, BC which was lead by Louie Giglio. The Passion conference was what I needed to hear, it was what made my heart shift from a small growing flame to a roaring fire, to now a fervent desire to proclaim the grace of God and share the good news, and it was honestly what all Christian students need to hear to seek change for their campus (check out their website and mission statement for more information by clicking on the word "Passion Word Tour" which I've turned into a clickable link).
I was reflecting about a verse in relation to the topic “Illuminate”, which the senior pastor at my home church was preaching this last weekend…
Matthew 5:14-16 states: “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on a stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”
I want to shine, I want to shout and sing the Lord’s name in the presence of all people, I know my mission here where I’m staying on campus and I’m excited to know that through God I have overcome the spirit which weighed me down. Holy Spirit lead me on. I am 100% revitalized, with my Lord granting me strength. My light was once dim but now it illuminates.
I guess the last thing is that I feel alive from this renewed vitality which comes from Jesus alone. A song which grasps how I currently feel is the song Alive in this Moment by Starfield. Check it out here…
References:
vital. (n.d.). Online Etymology Dictionary. Retrieved October 07, 2008, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/vital
vitality. (n.d.). The American Heritage® Stedman's Medical Dictionary. Retrieved October 08, 2008, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/vitality
The etymology of this word from the Online Etymology Dictionary states: “c.1386, ‘of or manifesting life,’ from L. vitalis "of or belonging to life” (vital, n.d.).
Moving along to the word ‘vitality’, the American Heritage Stedman's Medical Dictionary (n.d.) explains:
vitality vi·tal·i·ty (vī-tāl'ĭ-tē)n.
1. The capacity to live, grow, or develop.
2. Physical or intellectual vigor; energy.
Now, when I think of vitality I look at it at different ways in addition to the above reasoning. One way was through any role-playing video game, vitality is one of many attributes for the key character. As I would progress through a game the character gained vitality and while gaining vitality my character would also gain health allowing them to stay alive longer.
Going along that thought of staying alive longer, I’ve always thought of the word vitality just simply meaning energy or something sustaining a being and whatever it does…like a human being which requires ATP in order to function and sustain any metabolic processes (ie walking, running, etc). How about sugar? The human body commonly absorbs sugar in the form of glucose. The brain requires glucose to maintain the function of the body’s senses via action potentials that are sent throughout the body. Not to mention glucose is required for the brain and ultimately for the process of any thoughts and critical thinking.
This then brings me to the word with both prefix and suffix: revitalized.
Amazingly, recently through God’s grace and power my faith has been revitalized. I’ve come from a difficult summer as I entered my fifth year at Western. I was going through feeling antisocial with anyone and everyone that I met (including old friends). It was rather strange considering I’ve lived in this dorm region, Birnam Wood, already a couple years ago. So change of environment should not have been that big of an issue. The summer that I left was one of stagnation in many forms. In the end, a heavy spirit of isolation was created which burdened my heart. There were times when I didn’t know if I could go through with classes and times of anxiety. My roommate and I both agreed we had a mission for our region we were living in and I felt incapable. I knew I was being attacked spiritually.
Little by little, I prayed, asked for prayer, and continued to communicate with God. Through church, the Lord spurred me on to be the light for others to see and for them to know that He loves them and longs to be in relationship with them. Slowly I felt the fire lighting in my heart and began to communicate with friends and new people who I wanted to meet and befriend.
This kept growing further; there were times of worship, a new bible study with fellow brothers, meaningful conversations. It wasn’t until yesterday that I felt completely revitalized. I was very blessed to attend the Passion World Tour Conference with Chris Tomlin and David Crowder Band in Vancouver, BC which was lead by Louie Giglio. The Passion conference was what I needed to hear, it was what made my heart shift from a small growing flame to a roaring fire, to now a fervent desire to proclaim the grace of God and share the good news, and it was honestly what all Christian students need to hear to seek change for their campus (check out their website and mission statement for more information by clicking on the word "Passion Word Tour" which I've turned into a clickable link).
I was reflecting about a verse in relation to the topic “Illuminate”, which the senior pastor at my home church was preaching this last weekend…
Matthew 5:14-16 states: “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on a stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”
I want to shine, I want to shout and sing the Lord’s name in the presence of all people, I know my mission here where I’m staying on campus and I’m excited to know that through God I have overcome the spirit which weighed me down. Holy Spirit lead me on. I am 100% revitalized, with my Lord granting me strength. My light was once dim but now it illuminates.
I guess the last thing is that I feel alive from this renewed vitality which comes from Jesus alone. A song which grasps how I currently feel is the song Alive in this Moment by Starfield. Check it out here…
References:
vital. (n.d.). Online Etymology Dictionary. Retrieved October 07, 2008, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/vital
vitality. (n.d.). The American Heritage® Stedman's Medical Dictionary. Retrieved October 08, 2008, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/vitality
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